


A bend in the road

by legolastariel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Of course they do!, Regret, Remorse, Richonne never existed, Sorry is the hardest word to say, They still love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 13:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12795330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel
Summary: After Rick and Daryl's fight in 8x5 (damn you, Gimple!) and them going separate ways, this is how it could (and should) continue.Another fix-it story I felt I had to write.





	A bend in the road

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my lovely beta staceykc for correcting a few typos that escaped me. I appreciate the second set of eyes as usual, dear.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you'll like it.

**A bend in the road**

 

 

The road was endless. It stretched out in front of Rick for miles and miles and with each step he took, the horizon seemed to retract as though it was avoiding him.   
An illusion, naturally. Just like his feet as well as his heart weren’t really made of lead, and still it felt as though they were. 

He wasn’t deluding himself – the war, the battles ahead or the mission he was on weren’t the reason for how he felt. It was the battle that lay behind him. The one he had fought – and may have to fight again – against Daryl. His best friend, his brother, his soulmate, his lover – his everything. How the hell did it come to this?

Rick stopped and breathed in deep several times. His stomach was in tight knots and he felt his heart beat frantically on recalling the incident that had lead to the loss of those guns. Bile rose in his throat.

They lost the Kingdom. Almost all of their friends and comrads there were dead, given that the Savior had told the truth. They died to get those guns and his and Daryl’s childish fight had destroyed them, along with valuable ammo and explosives. The Kingdom’s sacrifice had been in vain. They all died for nothing. 

Nothing. _Nothing_ was a disagreement, opposing points of view on the question whether or not they should take prisoners. They all had never talked about this before they started this war. Maggie, Ezekiel, Rick and their right-hand men – shouldn’t they have talked about a procedure how to deal with Saviors who surrendered or the workers at the Sanctuary? They never thought that far. It had all been about battle tactics, strategies to win – no one ever gave it a thought how to handle the enemy once they had actually won. 

Daryl and he, they probably weren’t the only ones with clashing opinions. They had lost a third of their ranks and the rest was probably divided by the same conflict as they were. The chances of winning this war under such circumstances decreased, but it wasn’t even those dark clouds on the horizon that had Rick’s eyes sting all of a sudden, that made it hard to breathe. 

No matter how tight a situation had been in the past, no matter how dark the outlook, no matter the odds – there had always been a light, a source of hope and strength for him, something to hold onto. Or rather, _someone._ Daryl …  
Even in that line-up on his knees before Negan, Rick had felt confidence deep down inside – until the moment Negan had taken Daryl away from him. The archer had been his guiding light, his support, his reason to go on ever since the days back at the quarry, when opponents had turned to allies, allies to friends and finally, friends to lovers. 

So many years. Sometimes Rick had problems remembering life before the apocalypse, life before Daryl. Maybe because he had merely existed before he met the archer – it was Daryl’s friendship, Daryl’s love that had given his existence a meaning, brought him to life. 

And now, about an hour ago, a part of Rick had died when the archer’s fist had connected with his jaw, when the man he loved had tried to hit him square in the face although Rick had already been on the ground, when he had held him in a chokehold as though all that they had had, all that they had _been_ to each other had ceased to exist. At least Rick hadn’t hit him back.   
He had tried to stop him, had struggled with him over that stupid bag of explosives, but he hadn’t raised his hand against his man. He could never do that. Rick knew about Daryl’s childhood and what the Saviors had put him through just recently. Daryl had been beaten enough for a lifetime and Rick would be damned to inflict more pain. But sometimes it wasn’t a fist that did the most damage. 

He could have taken Daryl’s punches, because he understood the archer’s fury, his hate, his bloodthirst. He got why his partner was unwilling to listen, unable to show mercy. The Saviors had pushed him over the edge, had hurt him too deep both physically and emotionally. They brought back his childhood traumas and they killed some of the few people Daryl had ever dared to love – they had to be punished for that and the archer would make sure with everything he had that they would never take anyone else away from him.  
Rick could relate to his lover’s feelings and understood why it was heart over mind, but it didn’t change the fact that he had lost his wingman, his confidante, his back-up, the man whose loyalty used to be unbreakable. 

         _“This ain’t yer choice.”_

Worse than any punch was knowing that he couldn’t rely on Daryl any longer. That he wasn’t following Rick’s lead anymore, ignored his decisions, did his own thing. He couldn’t trust him any longer and that thought hurt the leader profoundly. How was he supposed to win this war, if he couldn’t build on the other half of his soul? 

 

A sound in the distance ended Rick’s train of thought and distracted him from his turmoil of emotions.

Engine noise! Some vehicle was approaching rapidly and would reach Rick any second now. Reacting quickly, the leader left the street and ducked between the trees that were lining the road on either side.   
The sound drew nearer and whoever was following him, slowed down now, evaded one or the other branch that was obstructing the road – and then stopped. 

Rick stood frozen behind a tree and hardly dared breathe. It wasn’t too much further to the junkyard he was headed for, so this could very well be one of Jadis’ men. After their betrayal the other day, there was no telling how any of them would react to him, if they ran into him out here. The mission couldn’t fail before he had even had a chance to talk to Jadis. They lost the Kingdom. They needed more manpower and at this point the Scavengers were their only hope. 

         “Come out!” 

The voice was gruff and sounded somewhat hostile, yet Rick’s heart made a leap of joy. He hadn’t dared hope for this.

         “Hey.”  
The leader came out of his hiding place and walked up to the motorcycle that was sitting by the roadside, while a pair of narrow blue eyes watched him piercingly.   
         “How did you know I was hiding there?”

Daryl gave him a “Yer shitting me, right?” kind of look, as though he couldn’t believe that Rick had seriously asked him that question.

         “Yer ‘bout the only person in this walker infested world who’s able ta leave tracks even on a paved road, man. Saw where ya shuffled through the dry leaves with ‘em bowlegs a’ yers ‘n’ ya broke off a couple a branches there when ya’s tryin’ ta hide. Even Ray Charles woulda seen ya.”

Rick pulled a face, but didn’t reply to that. He had tried for years now to walk as silently as Daryl, to track, to hunt, simply to not be a complete klutz, but apparently he was fighting a lost cause. 

         “Whadda you doing here?” the leader asked instead and saw his partner instantly avert his eyes and stare ahead of himself.

         “Jus’ hadda know if ya meant what ya said.”

         “What did I say?” Rick replied with a frown.

         “That I’s an asshole.”

Cerulean eyes widened in surprise.

         “You came all the way out here to ask me that?”

         “D’ya mean it or not?” Daryl insisted. 

         “Did you mean it when you said I looked like shit?” 

The archer cast him a side glance and looked him up and down, a meaningful look in his eyes.   
Rick’s curls were an unruly mess, he had traces of Daryl’s punch and blood on his face and the shirt was sweaty and hung partially out of his waistband. If the leader had been able to see himself, he would have agreed that he looked as though he’d been run over by a truck and was in fact looking like shit. That wasn’t an insult, just a statement.   
Little did he know that to Daryl he looked gorgeous as always. Even at his worst, Rick Grimes would always be the most beautiful man in the world to the archer’s eyes. But he’d be damned to tell him that now. 

         “Let’s say ya ain’t gonna make it to the cover of GQ, man, that’s for sure.”  
He looked away again, before adding in a choked voice.  
         “Ya know what I’s really sayin’, right?”

With his heart skipping a beat once again, a tiny smile tugged at the corners of Rick’s lips.

         “Uh-huh. Same as I, I guess.” 

         “Oh, so _asshole_ ‘s supposed ta be a pet name now or what?”

         “Fits. You always said you didn’t want me to call you by one, because that was _sappy crap._ So, is that better now, Dixon?”

Daryl looked up and met his eyes, holding his gaze for a moment before shaking his head to himself.

         “’m worried ‘bout how yer mind works at times, Grimes.”

They were quiet for a moment, while Rick drew cautiously nearer to the bike as though he was approaching a wild animal. It disturbed him that he couldn’t even predict Daryl’s reactions anymore.

         “Are you still angry?” he asked softly. 

         “Yeah.”

         “Should be me being angry, you know. I’m trying to lead our community, trying to stick to our plan so we can win this – and you just stabbed me in the back.”

Daryl’s head whipped around and he stared at Rick with blazing eyes.

         “Nah. I’s just tryin’ ta make ya understand how I feel, what I think, but ya ain’t listenin’ no more. Ya just assume that I’d always do what ya want, always agree with ya, but I ain’t yer puppy, Rick. I got a right ta make ma own decisions ‘n’ I feel different ‘bout things right now. Ya used ta know how I feel, used ta understand, but ya changed.”

         “You used to tell me your opinion, but supported me nevertheless when I thought different about matters. There was a time you used to say that whatever I say, goes, and I knew that I could count on you, no matter what. This is hell of a time to turn away from me, Daryl, and leave me alone in this. I need you – now more than ever, but you’re not there anymore.”

He swallowed thickly against the raspy sensation in the back of his throat, while Daryl just stared at him deadpan and unmoving.   
Finally the archer replied:

         “I cannot change how I feel. Tried ta reason with ya back there, tried ta find a compromise, but ya just said ‘No’ and wouldn’t listen. ‘s always yer call, yer choice, ‘bout what _you_ want, but right now, Rick, I can’t do this no more. They’ve done too much. I cannot let ‘em get away with it or that war’s already lost for everyone who lost loved ones ‘cause a’ them.” 

         “No”, Rick said softly, “if we lose ourselves in this and turn against each other, that’s when the war is lost. And more.”

He took another step closer to Daryl.

         “I _know_ how you feel. And I respect that. And there is no right or wrong here – we both have a point. It’s just … those workers in the Sanctuary, those you’d want to sacrifice … we got people like that back home, too, Daryl. People who never fought, never harmed anyone, who just want to live. People like Denise.”

Something flared up in the archer’s eyes and for a moment Rick was afraid he would punch him again. He may have overstepped a line right now, but Daryl needed to hear this.

         “If roles were reversed, how would it make you feel if the Saviors just blew Alexandria up – with people inside that don’t fight, children … Judith.”

         “Stop it!”

Greatly daring Rick reached out a hand and placed it lightly on his partner’s shoulder. Daryl flinched, but didn’t shrug it off.

         “I just want you to give it some thought, that’s all. It’s not all black and white, Daryl. It’s not that simple.” 

They were both quiet for a while, Rick looking calmly at his partner, while Daryl chewed his lower lip and didn’t meet his eyes. The little wheels in his head were turning, Rick could almost hear them, and even though Daryl would probably not come to a conclusion right now, at least he was giving all this a thought.   
Maybe they were able to work things out. Maybe they could meet halfway, find a compromise, reconsider – both of them. They had to. Not just for the sake of their cause and the communities, but for the sake of their relationship first of all.   
Rick was well aware of the fact that there’d be casualties in a war, that sacrifices needed to be made, but Daryl was the one thing he was unwilling to let go of. Ever. 

         “Can’t believe ya called me an asshole”, Daryl grumbled unexpectedly and the remark made Rick chuckle despite himself.

         “I’ll never hear the end of this, huh?” 

         “Ain’t sayin’ that. Jus’ want ya ta know that ya got some makin’ up ta do, Grimes.”

         “Me? You started that fight and did that damage to my face there, Rambo.”

         “Nah. Yer mug’s always been that ugly.” 

Rick opened his mouth for a comeback, but then just closed it again.   
He didn’t feel like bickering. They had enough frontlines to fight at and he was tired.  
Tired of losing people. Tired of doing the heavy lifting all by himself now. Tired of watching this war killing him and Daryl little by little. 

He pulled in a deep breath and said in a weary inflection:

         “Before you leave I just want you to know … I did listen, Daryl. I know you’re thinking about our people, want to protect them. So am I. I hope you’ll think about what I said and I promise, I’m gonna do that, too. I want us to find a way. – Please.”

         “Huh”, Daryl just grumbled, but the dark expression on his face lit up and the angry glow slowly faded from his eyes.

Rick took great interest in the tip of his shoes suddenly, before he whispered:

         “You’re still with me?”

It was quiet for a few heartbeats, then Daryl replied:

         “Hell, yeah.”

The next second he was off his bike and pulled his partner into a tight hug. Rick’s arms snaked around the archer’s waist instantly and pulled him even closer, while he sighed in relief.   
They just stood like that motionless and quietly for a few moments, then Daryl grumbled into Rick’s ear:

         “Ya really wanna go see that bitch?”

Without releasing him, Rick nodded.

         “I’ve got to. We lost the Kingdom and we need more people. Now more than ever.”

         “Can’t trust ‘em. They betrayed us before.”  
          
         “They don’t have a code and no honor – their own benefit is all they care for. So whoever pays the most is gonna have their support.”

         “Makes ya think we got more ta offer than Negan this time?”

         “Negan’s got nothing to offer at all anymore. The Sanctuary is surrounded by walkers, we attacked the outposts and cut off their backup. They gonna run out of supplies sooner or later – in any case, they’re not in the position to offer a deal to Jadis. We are.”

Daryl pulled back a little without letting go and looked Rick deep in the eyes and the leader could sense his inner struggle.   
There was still an immense amount of anger boiling deep inside and the conflict still stood between them, but there was also remorse and shame, the urge to say the words that were hardest to say at times – I’m sorry.   
Rick heard them without a word being spoken – he had long since learned to read Daryl, to see all he had to see in the mesmerizing blue eyes.  
          
         “Me, too”, he whispered to the archer, the ghost of a smile on his face.

He leaned in, his face only inches away from his partner’s, and waited. It was a silent offer, the attempt to bridge the gap between them and mend what their fight before had broken.   
A moment later Daryl’s lips touched his, feather-light at first, then more forceful until he was kissing him ardently. 

When he broke the contact and took a step back, Daryl’s inner turmoil was still visible in the shadow blue eyes, but there was the ghost of a smile, too, right before he deadpanned again.   
After another silent moment in which they just looked at each other, the archer gave a curt nod and then mounted his bike again.

         “Want me ta give ya a ride?”

Rick slowly shook his head.

         “Thanks, but I’ve gotta go alone.”

         “Huh”, Daryl growled. “Just want ya ta know that I think that plan sucks. – But it’s yer call, Grimes.  
         “Be careful”, he added seriously.

         “Will do.”

Daryl started the engine.

         “Give that bitch ma regards ‘n’ tell her, if she or any of ‘em douchebags so much as sneeze yer way, I’s gonna give her a new haircut. Gonna start cuttin’ right above her shoulders.”

The remark made Rick chuckle, but Daryl didn’t join in.

         “I mean it, Rick. If yer not back by tonight, ‘m gonna come lookin’ for ya. And if they harmed jus’ one a’ ‘em curls, ‘m gonna turn that junkyard into a compost pile, with Jadis’ dead body on top of it.”

For a second the leader couldn’t help sighing inwardly. Apparently Daryl’s vendetta was far from being over, but nevertheless it felt good knowing that his partner was by his side again, would have his back, would come to his aid if he needed him. Daryl was the one person, next to his children, Rick wouldn’t bear to lose – not to the war and not to the darkness within, either.

The bike’s engine roared as Daryl headed down the road a few yards, then turned around to head back the way he came. He stopped once more when he passed Rick and gave him a light pat to the belly. 

         “Hate ya, Quasimodo”, he sassed. “Wanna see yer ugly mug at home tonight. We still got some makin’ up to do.” 

That said he accelerated the bike, while Rick followed him with his eyes, grinning despite himself. 

         “Hate you, too, asshole!” he called after him right before Daryl’s bike disappeared behind a bend in the road.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Did you notice that Rick in fact never hit Daryl back? And as an ex-cop he should be able to do better than that. This wasn't a real fight actually - just foreplay. :-)


End file.
